It’s Sunday night. You have a busy week ahead. The kids are still up and the kitchen is a mess. You have about twenty-five things on your to-do list and you’ve gotten to maybe three. You had good intentions: meal plan, meal prep, answer those emails, finish your notes, work out. At least you made it to the grocery store, but you still have no idea what your family is eating this week.
Overwhelm.
It’s that suffocating feeling of having too much to do and not enough time to do it. If you’re a physician mom, you know it well.
But what actually creates it?
The Thoughts Behind the Overwhelm
When you’re looking at a long to-do list, it makes sense that you feel overwhelmed. You have real responsibilities, limited time, and people depending on you.
But there’s something else worth noticing: what you’re telling yourself about all of it.
“I can’t get all of this done.”
“I’m always behind.”
“I should be able to handle this.”
Those thoughts can add another layer of distress to an already demanding situation.
Think about how differently you might approach the same list when you’re thinking, “I’m failing at everything,” compared with, “There’s a lot here. Let me decide what needs my attention first.”
The tasks haven’t changed. But the way you relate to them, and to yourself, can change.
Some things need to get done. Some deadlines matter. Coaching gives us a way to examine the expectations and judgments we’re carrying alongside those responsibilities. Are we assuming everything is equally urgent? Are we making unfinished work mean we’re inadequate?
That’s a place where we can begin to create some room.
What Overwhelm Costs You
Have you ever had so much to do that you couldn’t decide where to start?
Maybe you moved between tasks without finishing any of them. Maybe you scrolled on your phone while thinking about everything you should be doing. Maybe you kept rewriting the list.
Then, when the work was still there, you felt even worse.
This is a pattern worth getting curious about. Overwhelm can make it harder to focus and choose a next step. And when we avoid a task, we may get a moment of relief, followed by more pressure when we return to it.
If you recognize yourself here, notice what happens without turning it into another reason to criticize yourself. What are you thinking? What feels uncomfortable? What do you do next?
Understanding the pattern gives you somewhere to begin.
How to Respond When Overwhelm Shows Up
The goal isn’t to never feel overwhelmed. We’re human, and we will.
The practice is to pause long enough to understand what’s happening before we react.
Try this with one unfinished task tonight:
1. Write down the facts.
Be specific. “I have six unsigned charts” is different from “I’m hopelessly behind.”
2. Write down what you’re telling yourself.
Maybe it’s, “I should have finished these already,” or “I’ll never catch up.” Let yourself see the thought without immediately trying to change it.
3. Notice what happens when you believe it.
How do you feel? What do you tend to do from that feeling? Does it help you address the work, or leave you feeling more stuck?
4. Consider another believable perspective.
You don’t have to convince yourself that everything is wonderful. You might try, “I have unfinished charts. Criticizing myself won’t finish them. I can decide what needs to happen next.”
Then choose your next action. That might mean addressing something time-sensitive, making a realistic plan, or asking for help with a workload that needs attention.
Your list may still be long. You may still feel uncomfortable. But you can practice responding to the work without making it a verdict on who you are.
Want Support Untangling Your Own Overwhelm?
It can be hard to notice these patterns when you’re tired and carrying a lot.
In coaching, I help physician moms explore the thoughts, expectations, and habits that keep them feeling overwhelmed—and practice responding with more clarity and compassion for themselves.
If you’d like support with this, book a free 45-minute mini-session. We’ll talk about what you’re experiencing and whether working together would be a good fit.
