One of my most stressful high school class memories was an AP English class I took my junior year. Each week we did these timed writings where we would get a certain amount of time to write an essay on some topic. As soon as the timer went off, you had to put your pencils down and your hands up and you were done, no matter what was on that paper.
Early in the semester I was terrible at this task and would dread it with all my being. I was a slow writer who needed time to think and process and would take days and weeks to write a proper essay. My timed writings were often a single paragraph without any developed ideas and the poor grade to reflect this.
By the end of the semester, however, after practicing week after week, I had mastered the task of getting a prompt and writing a well thought-out essay with a beginning, middle, and end in thirty minutes or less.
It turned out to be one of the most useful lessons of my life, but one that I would sadly forget.
Fast forward many years later and I’m now an attending physician with a busy practice, three babies in three years, and no training in how to manage all of this. So the running theme of my life was a sentence that was always playing in the back of my mind that was some version of the following:
There’s not enough time.
And guess what happened whenever I had that thought which was just about always?
That’s right … I didn’t have enough time.
I consistently had open charts and would work late on nights and weekends finishing my work at home and not have enough time for my family or myself. I was living in survival mode.
Mindful Doc Mom
When I believed I had no time I felt stressed and overwhelmed. When I felt stressed and overwhelmed I would spin and ruminate in my head about all the things I had to do, things I wanted to do, but couldn’t, and how hard my life seemed to be. I would stay stuck, avoid planning, and was often unproductive and reach for things like food or Facebook to relieve my stress rather than get to work.
The result I created was that I didn’t have time to do all the things I needed or wanted to do. I consistently had open charts and would work late on nights and weekends finishing my work at home and not have enough time for my family or myself. I was living in survival mode.
It was all a vicious, ugly cycle.
Fast forward more years and now I’m a mid-career attending who discovers coaching and learns all about how my thoughts create my reality. I learn to question my thoughts and choose them deliberately.
So I decide to let my old belief go and adopt a new belief:
There’s plenty of time and I can get it all done.
Just like my high school timed writings, this thought took lots of practice, but eventually it felt very true and believable and it stuck. My new thought came with other thoughts such as “I can get all my charts closed by the end of clinic” and “I have plenty of time for the people most important to me”.
With these new thoughts, I stopped blaming my work for my lack of time. I stopped blaming myself, too.
I started focusing and becoming more efficient. I started to see my patient charting as part of the visit and something that had to be done before I moved on to the next patient.
With my newfound efficiency and extra time, I started to enjoy my work AND my family more.
It was all a virtuous, wonderful circle.
Fast forward to today and I now have three teenagers, a busy practice, and several passions and interests. Despite all the challenges, I still enjoy practicing medicine and being a mom. I no longer feel like I’m in survival mode, but focused on thriving. I now coach other busy moms in medicine and help them thrive in their lives as well, one thought at a time.
Some lessons take years to learn, but others can happen in an instant.
All it takes is a belief.
If you want to learn more about how to work with me to help you thrive at work and at home, schedule a free, no obligation Zoom call with me by clicking the link below.
