What is hate?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, hate is “an intense hostility or aversion deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury. Extreme dislike or disgust. To have a strong aversion to: find very distasteful.”
Is there anyone in your life you can think of who gives rise to these emotions?
Maybe a public figure? Someone at work? A neighbor or someone in your social circle or extended family? Maybe even someone in your own home?
It may not even be as strong as hate. Maybe it’s just dislike. Maybe it’s a mild aversion. Like you’d rather not see this person & would avoid them in a crowd or switch aisles if you noticed them at the grocery store or at Target. You most definitely would avoid eye contact.
Hate or dislike is a negative emotion you feel about someone when you think a negative thought about them. You think it’s because of something they did or didn’t do.
But hate is never really about them. It’s always about you. It’s about what YOU choose to focus on about them. It’s about where YOU put your attention.
And here’s the crazy thing about negative emotions. You are the one stuck feeling them, but YOU are the one who created them.
The good news is that just as you are able to create these negative feelings, you have the same ability to create positive ones.
This isn’t just about thinking good thoughts or toxic positivity. It’s about directing your mind to seeing the whole picture, not just the part you want to see.
Once you take a few steps back and see the larger picture, now you can raise those binoculars up to your eyes and look around at the view.
Which part of the landscape do you want to zoom in on? Start adjusting the dials and focus in.
Which part of the landscape would it be better to look past? You can keep that part blurred.
YOU are the one holding the binoculars. YOU get to choose what to see.
Negative emotions are painful for the person who feels them and turns them into a person who feels negative. When you feel hate, for instance, you become a hateful person. Who wants to be that?!?
Hate is often senseless, created in the minds of humans who have lost their focus.
Senseless hatred is when you hate someone because their mistakes are different than yours.
Rabbi Noah Weinberg
The best thing I heard about hate came from a woman I love who learned it from a person she loves. It goes like this:
Senseless hatred is “when you hate someone because their mistakes are different than yours”.
See, you also have mistakes. They’re just different mistakes.
The opposite of senseless hate is not senseless, or unconditional love. It’s love with a purpose, focus, intention. It’s about seeing your differences and still choosing what to love about someone.
If hate can destroy and love can build, why choose hate? Why not spend the limited time you have here focused on creating a beautiful landscape of your life. Letting go of hate and even dislike will get you there faster.
Interested in learning how coaching can help you let go of negative emotions? Schedule a complimentary Zoom call with me on my calendar link below.
https://calendly.com/mindfuldocmom/free-45-minute-mini-session
