In the last post, I discussed the concept of “emotional childhood”, where we attribute our emotions to external circumstances. This is the place where most of us live the majority of the time, giving our power over to the world around us and letting our emotions be dependent on factors outside of our control.
The goal is to live in “emotional adulthood” where we take full responsibility for our emotions. An emotional adult takes full ownership of their feelings and understands that nothing that anyone says or does can make us feel anything until we have a thought about it. They understand that the world doesn’t have to change and people don’t have to be different for them to feel different of better in any way.
Emotional adulthood is taking full responsibility for your own feelings rather than blaming how you feel on other people or circumstances outside of your control.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to be happy about everything that happens to you or what others say or do. If someone says something hurtful to you and you feel bad about it, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. What is wrong, however, is believing that what they said is the reason that you feel bad.
You can still feel bad (and want to feel bad for that matter), but recognize that the only reason you feel that way is because of your own thoughts about what they said. That doesn’t mean you have to change those thoughts. But understanding this simple truth gives you back your own power and you get to decide if you want to feel that way or not. The choice doesn’t matter. Knowing that you have that choice is everything.
How would spending more time in emotional adulthood change your life?
