One year ago on March 12, 2021 I wrote a blog post called “19 lessons I learned over the last year from Covid-19” and posted it on my personal Facebook page for all my “friends” to see. I had started my blog some time before that, but almost no one knew about it and I never posted anything about it on my personal page before. Seems pretty minor; no biggie, right?
But for me, it was not minor. In fact, it was one of the most uncomfortable things I had ever done. I was vulnerable in front of so many people that I knew. I exposed myself in a way I had never done before and opened myself up to criticism and scrutiny that I normally would give anything to avoid.
I wrote the post and almost hit “publish”. Then I didn’t. Then, finally, I did.
And then the nausea came. I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to throw up and cry (I may have a little). I wanted to go back and delete the post. Remove it. Get rid of my thoughts and words in case they sounded stupid or someone disagreed with me or I inadvertently offended someone. But I forced myself to leave it there and then I got off Facebook and just stopped looking.
And something incredible happened. I didn’t die. Nothing terrible happened to me. In fact, when I grudgingly looked at the post the next day, there were so many nice comments from lots of different people, many I had forgotten were my Facebook friends.
So slowly, cautiously, I kept writing. I started my own Facebook business page and posted my blogs there. It still felt very uncomfortable every time I hit “publish”, but the nausea gradually subsided. I no longer felt a deep sickness in my stomach with each published post. I started to trust myself and my thoughts more.
In that time I also became a certified life and weight loss coach and started a coaching business. As I learned and practiced coaching tools and was coached by others regularly, this belief in myself continued to grow. I was actively working on and accomplishing goals in several areas of my life.
I started to really understand that the biggest obstacle standing in the way of everything I could ever want in my life was me. I realized that fear was my biggest obstacle and it was all created in my own mind. Fear held me back so many times in my life. It kept me from pushing myself to see what I could accomplish. It held me back from listening to that little voice deep inside that wanted me to be more than what I was.
I began to understand that the biggest obstacle standing in the way of everything I could ever want in my life was me.
Sofia Dobrin
According to author Marianne Williamson, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
Marianne Williamson
When I look back at myself a year ago I see someone more afraid who let that fear stop her from growing as much as she could. Today I see someone who still has lots of fear, but acts despite that fear. I no longer let fear stop me from pursuing my dreams and reaching my potential. Today I am someone who is committed to growing every single day, no matter how hard, how uncomfortable, or how scary it may be. I am committed to growing as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, a niece, a friend, a business owner, a woman, a human being.
Sometimes the biggest transformations are invisible to others. They happen on the inside. They may be subtle, but profound.
Today, my greatest passion is to show other women that they, too, can believe in themselves so much that they can achieve dreams they didn’t even know they had. They can accomplish any goal, grow in any area of their life and not let their own fears and limiting beliefs get in the way.
I can totally relate to this! Yes, the fear of doing something like putting myself out there seems so terrifying! Thanks for the reminder that I can take action even while letting the fear be present. 🙂
I think that is THE best way to have courage; not waiting for the fear to disappear, but acting with the fear still present.