We think our feelings are very important. And they are. But not for the reasons we think they are.
Feelings are not important because of how intense they can be or how positive or negative we experience them. They are important because they are the reason we do or don’t do anything. Our feelings drive all of our actions including our inactions. Feelings are the reason we want anything in our lives.
When you feel determined, you act from a place of determination and drive. You plan and prepare. You continue to take actions towards your goal. When you feel defeated, on the other hand, you act from that feeling which could look like a lot of inaction and self doubt and retreat from goals. When you feel irritated, your whole demeanor changes. Your voice, your tone, your words all reflect irritation. If your driving emotion is compassion, however, your voice, tone, and words reflect that emotion.
Do you want a bigger house? A different job? A trip to Maui? A child or spouse who behaves differently? The only reason you want any of these things is because of how you think you’ll feel when you get them.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a change, but know that changing your circumstance will not change your feelings until you have a different thought about them.
What’s so great about this is that you can choose to feel any emotion you want without ever having to change your circumstance. Nothing external has to change for you to feel different or better. You can feel better any time you choose.
What feelings drive most of your actions?
