Do you find yourself wanting to do something, but not being able to do it? Maybe you’re trying to eat healthier, exercise regularly, or clean out your closet? Do you find yourself wanting to stop doing something, but find that just as difficult? Maybe you want to stop overeating, stop reacting to your loved ones, or spend less time on social media?
Why is it so hard to make a change of our own choosing?!?
The reason is something called the Motivational Triad. There are 3 main drivers that motivate human beings to take action:
- Seek pleasure
- Avoid pain
- Be efficient/conserve energy
If something feels good, doesn’t hurt us, and is super easy, we are all in and will be very motivated to act and keep doing it. If, on the other hand, something is painful, whether real or perceived, and will be challenging or take lots of energy, we are out and it’s much more difficult to get us to take action.
As humans, our brains are wired for survival. As evolved humans, our primitive brains still carry these same connections that our ancestors depended on to live. While we no longer sleep in caves, have to hunt for our next meal, or avoid wild animals, our brains are still designed to protect us and help us survive.
Understanding this motivational triad helps us understand our own behavior and allows us to have more self-compassion when we aren’t achieving our goals.
Taking the easy way out or doing what feels good in the short run isn’t a moral failing. It’s how our brains are designed to keep us alive.
But what if we no longer want or need to just survive? What if we are ready to thrive?
Maybe that’s when it’s time to turn the triad on its head.
Maybe instead of seeking pleasure, we seek discomfort. That short term discomfort just may lead to long lasting pleasure.
Maybe instead of avoiding pain, we open up to the pain. Processing pain instead of avoiding it out of fear may be the key to achieving our dreams.
Maybe instead of doing what’s easy and takes little effort, we welcome the challenge because we know it will lead to our growth.
What change are you struggling to make? Which part of the triad is most at play?
