Over the next few weeks I’m going to share some common mistakes most of us make as parents that suck the joy out of this precious time in our lives. Feel free to comment on any of these blogs with your own “mistakes” and ones you wish someone warned you about that made parenting harder than it has to be.
Mistake #1: Not constraining your definition of success as a mom
You want to do it all. Be a fun mom. Be present. Be a good example. Be a great doctor or other career woman or employee while not sacrificing anything at home. Have a clean and organized house. Be a great hostess. Be involved at school. Go to the fieldtrips and class parties.
But then you’re left exhausted and overwhelmed and feel you’re falling short everywhere. Your focus is all over in too many places when you have this vague, loosy goosy idea of what success looks like as a mom.
When you try to do it all and be everything and everywhere, you’re just left exhausted and overwhelmed and feel like you’re falling short everywhere.
mindful doc mom
What if you challenged all those definitions of success as a mom and just picked something very small, very simple, very doable that defines success for you that you can easily achieve on a regular basis?
What if your definition of success involved something you had control over no matter where you are physically or how much or little time you have?
For example, my definition of success as a mom involves two things I strive to do each day:
- Have a loving thought and feeling about each of my children each day.
- Express love to each of my children in some way each day through a hug, kiss, phone call, note, text, activity or my attention, whatever it may be.
That’s it. Simple.
It doesn’t have to take much time at all. I don’t even have to be with them.
I get to decide that if all I did today was think a loving thought and express my love in some way to my child, then I was a successful mom. I could just choose to believe that and so can you. Maybe your definition will look very different than mine and that’s great. You get to define what success looks like as a mom and in any other part of your life.
What is your simple, doable, definition of success that you can easily achieve today?
