I was fortunate to have the opportunity to attend an amazing medical conference in a fabulous location. The conference was held in North Carolina at a beautiful mansion rich with history and ambiance. When I arrived at the airport, I was greeted by a driver who was sent by the program with a list of names to pick up. One other gentlemen, who happened to sit in front of me on the plane, shared the car with me and we spent the thirty minute ride mostly silent with some small talk mixed in. The meeting was packed full with lectures and programming from early morning until night with a few breaks in between. We were fed incredibly well and it took me nearly a week after the conference to retrain my body from eating every two hours! I knew no one at the program, but tried to chat with some of the other participants during our breaks. It was during these coffee and meal breaks that I started to make some connections.
Two of the other female physicians and I realized that we all had the same brilliant teacher during our training which took place at different institutions during different years. We called ourselves his “babies” and took a picture together and sent it to him. He was thrilled and planned to put it up in his office. I had not spoken to him in over a decade, but one of these women was very close to him and I was pleasantly surprised when she texted him a selfie of the two of us and he immediately remembered my name. It got me thinking about so many wonderful people who trained me and those I trained with, with whom I’ve lost touch. Between practicing medicine, having and raising kids, and general life stress, these connections had fallen to the wayside. This woman who was still close to my former teacher was much younger and more enthusiastic than me. I could see her passion, her engagement in her chosen field, and it made me question my own.
Then there was a male physician I met who shared a native language with me. He insisted we speak in that tongue, even though my ability was far less than his as he speaks it on a daily basis at home. He corrected my mistakes (per my request) and reminded me what a blessing it is to know multiple languages. We talked of our kids and hometowns and our jobs back home. The doctors in the program that weekend were from the same specialty, but came from across the country. He told me of the new home he was closing on later that week and I was genuinely excited for him and his family.
We had one formal sit down dinner during the program and I found myself at a table with people I did not yet have a chance to meet, except for the man I shared the car with from the airport. There was a resident physician still in training, a pharmaceutical representative, and the rest of us physicians. We were all quiet at first, but by the end of dinner we were chatting and laughing a little too loudly as we shared delicious food and drinks and scenes from our favorite shows as well as some of the funniest animal experiences we’ve ever had. None of us wanted to leave, but there were still a few more hours of meetings that night.
When it was time to say goodbye on Sunday afternoon, less than forty-eight hours had passed, but I felt like I had made some friends in my field all over the US and Puerto Rico. If one of my patients was moving and needed a doctor in one of these places, I knew who to call. If I needed advice on a complex patient, I knew that the program instructors would be more than willing to help. When I entered the car to take me and two others back to the airport, it was a completely different feeling than the previous ride. This time I wasn’t sitting with strangers. They felt like friends, even though we had barely just met and knew little of each other’s lives. We had just shared a sliver of time and space together and we were bonded in a way. We went through security together and onto our shared flight. My final destination was their connecting city. I’ve been a nervous flyer for many years. When I fly alone, I often have to take a small dose of Xanax. I did so for the flight there. But watching my new friends step on the same plane as me, I didn’t feel alone and I didn’t feel the need to take anything. I may never see or speak with them again, but my conference colleagues reminded me how little it takes for us to connect to others and how much better we are for the experience.
How did you connect to a stranger today?
