Like many of you, I’ve gone through some tough times in my life, and recently had another one of these seasons. I found it challenging to manage all the different aspects of my life during this period, was riddled with anxiety, and had trouble even getting through the day. When I was in the thick of it, several things started to fall through the cracks, and most of them were related to me. Like a typical mom, I put myself last with not so great consequences.
Fortunately, as I saw myself start to spiral down, I was able to recognize that if I needed to take care of others, I had no choice but to first take care of myself. I remembered the airplane flight attendant refrain to put your oxygen mask on first, and I realized that I didn’t even know where mine was. So I looked for it and found it and secured it tight. And that’s when everything started to get better.
I wanted to share some of the lessons I learned during this time that may seem obvious, but I know that someone out there still needs to hear them. Because as obvious as they are, I’m almost certain there are many suffering right now who aren’t doing them. I know I wasn’t and I was only hurting myself in the process.
11 Practical Tools For Self-Care:
- Sleep: This is a big one and a huge challenge for me personally. It’s the first thing that goes when I’m stressed. Sleep deprivation is both a consequence and a cause of a stressful time. When you’re not sleeping it makes EVERYTHING worse and it creates a vicious cycle of lack of sleep. This was definitely true for me. So what can you do?
- Here are a few ideas:
- Make sleep a priority – set a timer/reminder to wind down and go to bed. Be consistent and do it the same time each night.
- Get off your phone! Not only is the light not good for sleep, but it’s easy to start scrolling social media and get sucked into a vortex into the wee hours of the morning. I made a rule to stop scrolling social at least 1 hour before bed.
- If you use your phone, use it for good. I found a free sleep meditation app and would listen to it as it helped me drift off to sleep.
- Journal or what I like to call a thought dump. Set a timer for 5-10 minutes and get out all of your thoughts, without judgement, onto a piece of paper or notebook. Once it’s physically on paper, it’s separate from you which helps you get into a more restful state.
- Take limited sleep aids such as melatonin. This didn’t actually do much for me, but I also didn’t want to rely on this, so I was very sparing and hardly used this method.
- Here are a few ideas:
- Move your body. This one was easy for me because I have a dog who I walk every day. In addition to this, I focused on moving my body even more than normal. I got back on my stationary bicycle and even started doing some weights. The more I moved, the more good hormones flooded my body.
- Connect to nature. I have a habit of listening to podcasts when I walk my dog. I realized my mind was always busy with something and needed some time to rest just like my body did. So during at least one of my daily walks I ditched the podcasts and just looked around and took in the world around me. I noticed things and people I might have otherwise missed and it helped ground me and my nervous system.
- Connect to others. Whether it’s through a phone call, a text message, a lunch or coffee date, reach out to a family member or friend and let them know what you are going through. People do care and they do want to help, even if it’s just to give a listening ear.
- Allow yourself to feel. Feeling negative emotions comes easier for some than others. Whatever camp you are in, it’s important to allow the feelings to be there. Even for those of us who are big feelers, it’s easy to push away, ignore, or buffer away big feelings. Feelings are not really good or bad, so just see them as information, rather than judging them. They are telling you that your body is processing something and the faster you allow your body to process it, the faster the feelings will diminish.
- Practice gratitude. As dark as your situation may be right now, try to find the light. Even if it’s just a glimmer, that glimmer may be all it takes to begin to pull you out of a pit.
- Practice self-compassion. There are many things you could say to yourself when you are going through something hard. It’s amazing how the negative ones seem to come so easily. But you would never speak to a friend going through the same thing that way, would you? Of course not! So why do we do this to ourselves?!? Picture your friend instead of you, or better yet, picture yourself as a 6 year old and say those same things to her. Much harder now, right?! Ingrain that image in your mind if you must, but be nice to yourself during this time.
- Set boundaries. Even if you committed to something, if it’s beyond your bandwidth right now, it’s okay to say no. You have to protect your energy from situations and people that drain you.
- Laugh. There are certain comedians on Instagram that I can always count on to make me laugh out loud. Maybe you’re lucky to have a real comedian in your life. Find these people or memes or whatever does it for you and snort if it comes to that.
- Get help. I can’t leave this one out or say it enough. Whether it’s a good friend, a therapist, a coach, or a spiritual leader, just get some help. Find a professional (doctor or therapist) if you can’t function or if your mood is interfering with your life.
- Pray/meditate/connect to a higher power. You do not have to go through this alone. You are a part of something much larger. Connect to that source and let it guide you.
What are some additional ideas that have helped you during a hard time? Please share them in the comments or message me privately. I would love to hear what has helped you.
