Up until this point I have been addressing the symptom of the problem of being overweight which is overhunger and overeating. Now I want to turn to addressing the underlying cause, which is overdesire.
Our desire for food comes from several places, including the release of dopamine in the brain. It also comes from our cultural programming and beliefs around what is “normal” eating and how much pleasure we should get from our food.
When our brain is exposed to a rewarding stimulus like food, it responds by increasing the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine.
When we eat concentrated foods that unnaturally release dopamine, we get much more desire from our food than we need. All that dopamine is released and tells our brain that the food is much more important than it actually is and it causes us to seek out that food again and again.
If we try to lose weight by cutting back on food without addressing our desire, then the result is that we feel deprived and actually end up INCREASING our DESIRE. We may be able to overcome this using our willpower, but willpower can only take us so far and then it runs out and we end up overeating again.
The only reason we feel deprivation is because we have overdesire.
Imagine being at a party where there is a ton of delicious food and dessert being served, but you are unable to eat it because there is something physically going on with your mouth. Maybe you had oral surgery and you can’t chew right now. Or maybe you have a procedure coming up the next day and you are not allowed to eat anything at this time. So you will feel very deprived if you have the desire to eat that food.
If, on the other hand, you just got over a stomach flu or had a bout of food poisoning and the smell and appearance of the food is bringing back bad memories and your desire for any food right now is totally gone, then you won’t feel deprived at all.
The food itself or you not eating the food is NOT what causes the feeling of deprivation. It is the desire for the food that does. If desire is removed, then so is deprivation.
When food becomes less important to you and thus you desire it less, you can be around it and it isn’t a problem.
Some examples of this would be a nonsmoker who is around cigarettes. They have no desire to smoke, so it’s not a problem being around a cigarette (other than perhaps not enjoying the smell or other health effects). Or imagine someone who doesn’t drink alcohol and can take it or leave it who is at a bar with drinks all around them. They won’t feel the least bit deprived because they have no desire to drink.
Desire causes deprivation.
The key to losing weight and keeping it off is to NOT overdesire food.
Now here’s the important part:
Desire doesn’t just happen to us. We create desire by the food choices we make, like the concentrated foods I discussed earlier.
We also create desire by our thinking.
Our thoughts create our feelings. Desire is a feeling created by a thought.
Simple, seemingly innocent thoughts like “I want it” lead to a feeling of desire.
If we become aware of these thoughts and what they create for us, we can learn how to interrupt them when they arise in our minds. We can develop the ability to recognize which thoughts bring us closer to our goals and which thoughts take us further away.
We can then CHOOSE our thoughts intentionally rather than letting the unintentional, unhelpful thoughts run our life.
You can do this thought work on your own which is possible, but can take time and practice. Or you can work with someone trained in thought work to help you become more aware of your own thoughts and what they are creating in your life and help you choose thoughts that better serve you.
This is exactly what I do as a coach. I hold a mirror up to your mind to show you in the fastest and most efficient way possible what you are creating and how so you know exactly how to change it. You can learn more by scheduling a free call with me at the link below.
