One of the things I hear over and over again is the sense of a feeling of overwhelm and stress in so many people’s lives. We often attribute these feelings to circumstances outside of ourselves that we feel we have little to no control over. The truth is that we have much more control over these emotions than we realize and that begins with one word – ownership.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, ownership is the quality or state of being accountable or taking responsibility.
Your thoughts and feelings lead to the actions you take and these actions create your results. When you take ownership or accountability for yourself, you are then willing to own your feelings and actions REGARDLESS of the circumstance, and therefore you are willing to own your results.
So taking ownership of your thoughts, feeling, and actions is the key to getting the results that you want.
This is the best news because as much as you try, you just can’t control most circumstances, but you CAN control your thoughts and actions.
How do you take ownership for the things you can control?
You always have a choice! ~ Mindful Doc Mom
It starts with the simple, yet powerful realization that YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE!
When you feel powerless in your life, it’s usually because you have forgotten this truth that you have choice and you’ve given control over to something or someone else. You believe things are happening to you. You believe you are at the mercy of outside forces. The more people you can get to agree with you, the easier it is to believe these lies.
The truth is that there are no have-to’s in life. You choose to do something or not. You choose to believe something or not. Even in the most dire of circumstances, if you are still alive and conscious, you have choice.
Ownership happens the second you move from “I have to” to “I choose to”.
When you take ownership or responsibility for the things you can control, that’s when you become empowered and free.
When you remain in “I have to” mode, it creates a feeling of burden. Even everyday tasks become cumbersome and you may only try to meet the minimum standards. It is easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed, and burned out.
When you switch to “I choose to” mode, you feel lighter, more empowered, and are more likely to put more effort into your daily tasks and give your best.
Just imagine a typical day of yours. List every single thing that you do that day.
Here’s an example:
Wake up to an alarm clock. Shower and get dressed. Eat breakfast. Feed kids breakfast. Make lunches for kids. Walk the dog. Drive to work. Work all day. Drive home after work. Pick child up from after school activity. Make dinner. Eat dinner with family. Clean up kitchen. Drive child to another activity. Pick up medication at a pharmacy. Help child with homework. Check email. Respond to email. Plan the next day’s meals. Call a friend. Read a book. Get ready for bed. Go to bed.
I could list about a thousand additional details in this sample day, but you get the gist.
Now pretend that this is your day and go through each and every line and notice how you always have a choice. This is true at every single point of your day.
Some would argue that you can’t just not show up at work or you can’t just not pick your child up from school (or bring them if that’s what you do). Or you can’t just not feed your kids. But the truth is … yes you can choose NOT to do those things, but the reality is that you WANT to do them, that’s why you are doing them.
You don’t have to set an alarm in the morning. You could just wake up when you wake up and show up at work when you feel like it or when your body is ready. Of course there would be consequences for these actions and you might even get fired, but you could do these things if you choose. Most people just don’t choose that route.
That’s taking ownership; it’s recognizing that all the things we tell ourselves that we have to do, we actually want to do or we wouldn’t be doing them. Yes, we often do things that we might not love or enjoy, but if we keep doing them, then we must be choosing to do them anyway. It is always a choice. And yes, there are people who choose not to take their kids to school or sign them up for activities or make their lunches or feed them dinner. There are people who could physically and mentally go to work, but choose not to. If you are someone stressed and overwhelmed with all the things on your plate, you are probably not one of those people. You are making a different choice, but it is a choice.
We want things in our life to change. We want things to be different. We have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for that change to happen. If we keep doing this, we become victim to outside circumstances. Instead, try looking inside and taking responsibility for your own thoughts and actions. You DO control your thinking and your actions and that’s more than enough, IF you are willing to own them.
If you are looking to work with a coach to help you take ownership of your thoughts, actions, and results, look no further. Sign up for a free Zoom consultation with me at the link below.
https://calendly.com/mindfuldocmom/free-45-minute-mini-session
