choose your thoughts. change your life.
After a weekend of political violence with an assassination attempt of a former president and presidential candidate, I can’t think of a more relevant topic than that of peace. What happened is being condemned on both sides of the political spectrum, but it remains clear that the temperature in this country is exceedingly high and …
We just returned from a wonderful Spring Break trip with family and friends. Well it wasn’t all wonderful. Sometimes it was downright exhausting and painful. Put three strong-willed teenage sibling girls together for a week, lots of walking, long car rides, and cramped sleeping arrangements and you set the stage for some not so great …
It is estimated that human beings have somewhere around sixty thousand thoughts per day. According to the National Science Foundation, about 80% of these thoughts are negative and over 90% are repetitive. Since negative thoughts lead to negative feelings, it’s worth noticing which of these repetitive thoughts keep coming up for you as they are …
What is hate? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, hate is “an intense hostility or aversion deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury. Extreme dislike or disgust. To have a strong aversion to: find very distasteful.” Is there anyone in your life you can think of who gives rise to these emotions? Maybe a public …
I’m not much into affirmations or mantras, but sometimes there’s a saying or phrase that plays over and over in your head that you just can’t kick. If something is going to take up that kind of space in your head, it may as well be something that drives your behavior in a super useful …
Physician and non-physician burnout is a tremendous problem in medicine and a reason why so many great doctors and health care workers end up leaving the field. Physician burnout is described as a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress in the workplace (JAMA Network Open, 2023). According to a national …
Like most existential questions, the answer to this question really depends on who you ask. A patient may have one answer and a physician a completely different response. Ask ten people and you’re likely to get ten different replies. What does being a great doctor mean to YOU? If you’re a doctor, this is an …
I failed. Completely. I was supposed to be patient and kind, especially in front of my kids, but I lost it over the dumbest thing. I was buying my kids Dunkin and converted four hundred points from the Dunkin app for a donut and hashbrowns. When I went to pay and told them about the …
Difficult patients. We’ve all encountered them. Maybe we are them. (Afterall, they say doctors make the worst patients and there’s probably some truth to that.) But what makes a patient “difficult”? Is it someone with multiple complex medical issues or a condition you haven’t been able to diagnose or don’t fully understand? Is it someone …
One of my most stressful high school class memories was an AP English class I took my junior year. Each week we did these timed writings where we would get a certain amount of time to write an essay on some topic. As soon as the timer went off, you had to put your pencils …
A typical day in the life of a woman in medicine is filled with numerous decisions about tasks that need to be done. Some of these include: This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but as you can see, a work day in medicine is filled with nonstop decision-making that can take up …
I recently got hit hard with some nasty virus (not Covid). It had been going on low-level for about a week or so when things escalated and it developed into a situation of more intense upper respiratory symptoms, incessant coughing, and inability to breath or sleep that knocked me off my feet, or at least …
If you are a medical professional or speak to a medical professional, a common theme emerges. No matter your specialty or position, most people have experienced doing more with fewer resources. This could mean fewer doctors or mid-levels seeing more patients, or fewer nurses working with more doctors. It could mean fewer ancillary and support …
If you’re a busy clinician like me, it’s easy to overlook small things that can make a big difference in how you manage your workflow during a typical work day. Investing a little time up front can save you a lot of time on the back end. One of the best uses of this planning …
One of the things you can count on in a typical day in medicine is that everything and everyone is vying for your attention. You may have a schedule of patients to see or procedures to perform, but during that time there are numerous potential interruptions that can cause you to lose focus. Patients are …
As a woman in medicine, you possess extreme dedication to providing quality healthcare to your patients. However, the demanding nature of your profession often leads to long hours, overflowing inboxes, and open patient charts that seem impossible to close. Failing to lead the visit can contribute to these undesirable results. Letting the patient lead the …
When I first heard this statement about people pleasers being liars from Brooke Castillo, founder of The Life Coach School, I was quite taken aback. The more I thought about it, however, the more I realized its profound truth. When we say or do things just to make someone else happy, we often end up …
These words were written by author Richie Norton. He also wrote, “Perfectionism is a disease. Action is the cure.” Just like perfectionism, which I discussed in the previous blog post, procrastination is also the thief of time. We have this idea that everything should be easy and fun. As soon as it’s not, we don’t …
If you’re a woman in medicine reading this, you’ve probably spent your entire academic career going for that “A” in class or even “A plus” if it was available. You’re an overachiever, no doubt, and in your mind a “B” stands for “bad”, does it not?!? Believe me, I know. I’ve been there. Just ask …
In the next several blog posts, I’m going to go through several different mistakes made by women in medicine who consistently have open charts and an overflowing inbox and are working way too long or too late (assuming they don’t want to be in this situation). When you ask physicians or other health care workers …
I’ve been thinking a lot about how so many women in medicine struggle with overworking and having open charts and an overflowing inbox. I’m starting a series of blogs discussing all the different mistakes that I can come up with that create this situation. I’m sure there are more, but these are the ones that …
There are many reasons why closing your charts benefits your employer or company and your patients. What I want to focus on here is what having open charts does to YOU. Having open charts and an overflowing inbox creates unfinished business that weighs heavily on your mind. It creates a sense of overwhelm and stress. …
Let’s say you did something you really regret. Maybe you yelled at your kids in that monster mom voice and saw fear in their eyes. Maybe you criticized your spouse or a friend and wish you could take the words back. Maybe you stomped on someone’s dream. Maybe you judged unfavorably or gossiped about someone. …
One of the things that has changed in medicine over my career is the emphasis on patient reviews. As time has passed, more of what we do as physicians has been attached to various metrics and our identities and success or lack thereof have been defined by these metrics. A huge part of these metrics …
With Valentine’s Day this week, the topic of love has been in the air. I’ve learned a lot of things about love over the last few years and I wanted to share just five of those concepts here. My hope is that you can apply the ones that resonate with you to create more love …
When my oldest child was a toddler, I remember taking her to our first mommy and me class. I was excited to get out of the house, have her socialize with other kids and to meet other moms. Only it didn’t quite go as planned. When I got there, the other moms all seemed to …
I was fortunate to attend a fantastic talk this weekend about healthy relationships and making them great by the wise and inspiring educator and self-development leader Ruchi Koval. She shared so many words of wisdom, but I wanted to highlight a few practical tools she discussed. Her talk was geared towards marriage relationships, but was …
It’s three weeks into the new year and many of us have already gotten lost. We’ve lost our desire for the thing we wanted so badly to change. That excitement we had has diminished. Inspiration has disappeared. Reality has set in. We want to change, to be better, to grow, but it’s SO much easier …
More than anything, most of us want to feel heard. We want to believe that the people in our lives are actually listening. We often think of people as either those who listen or those who don’t, but there are actually five levels of listening described by psychologist Dr. Elliott Rosenbaum. These go from the …
We are in the darkest time of the year. The sun sets earlier today than any other Friday this year. It’s cold and gloomy (at least where I live) and I don’t want to leave my home. So what exactly is darkness? I learned some fascinating things about darkness from my Jewish tradition that I …
Most people think that happiness is something that you get to feel when something good happens in your life. You buy the new outfit or car or dream house. You get the job or grade you wanted. You go on the vacation. Someone does something or says something kind. You make every green light. You …
It’s eleven at night on a Saturday. I’m in a hotel room by myself in Nashville, Tennessee where I flew for a medical conference. There are thousands of people at this conference, but I came alone without any family, friends, or even colleagues. It’s my first time in Nashville and I definitely feel the spirit …
Many of us are about to celebrate the classic American holiday of Thanksgiving today. It’s a day that brings people of different religions, creeds, genders and ages together to give thanks and share a meal. It’s a wonderful model for joy because as research has taught us, it’s not being joyful that makes us grateful, …
These eight words have dramatically changed how I see myself and the relationship I have with myself and others. Read them again. You are a soul. You have a body. What if this were true? Would it change anything for you? If you believed that you are a soul who wears their body as a …
Mistake #11: Thinking that your child is an extension of you (and Not Taking Up Your Rightful Space) This is the final parenting mistake I’m going to discuss in this series that I started a few weeks ago. There are many others, but I think this is a good place to stop and this particular …
Mistake #10: Spending Too Much Time In Guilt Most of us judge ourselves way too harshly. We do something that we regret and then we are ridden with guilt. We snapped or yelled too much or didn’t give enough attention to our child. We worked too much. We were unkind or unfair. We criticized or …
Mistake #9: Putting Too Much Pressure On Your Role You could be the absolute best mom. You could do all the right things. You could give your kids every advantage in life. But guess what?! They may still end up unhappy. They may not get into the school or job that they want. They may …
Mistake #8: Listening to others more than to your own wisdom When it comes to parenting, everyone has lots of opinions on just about everything. Advice starts coming even before you have the baby. There are ideas about when you should get pregnant. What you should or shouldn’t eat while pregnant. How active you should …
Mistake #7: Indulging in Compare and Despair How many times have you compared yourself or your life as a mom to someone else’s and found that you and your life come up short? Monthly? Daily? Multiple times a day? Their body bounced back from pregnancy so much faster than mine. Their kids are easier. Their …
Mistake #6: Living by a To-Do List rather than a Results List One of the most common words that most moms (myself included) use to describe their days and weeks is “busy”. I’m SO busy. There’s too much to do and not enough hours in a day. I have a list a mile long. It’s …
Mistake #5: Overconsuming There’s a 90-9-1 rule of participation in social media. 90% of users are lurkers – they read or observe, but don’t contribute. 9% of users contribute from time to time. 1% of users participate a lot and account for most of the contributions. The rule describes how most users don’t participate very …
Mistake #4: Avoiding discomfort Avoiding discomfort in parenting is not doing the things you know you should be doing because you don’t like how you’ll feel when you do it. This could look like avoiding setting boundaries or rules on chores or bedtimes or language or behavior or curfews, for instance. If you set these …
I am continuing with the list I am sharing of my 13 mistakes that suck the joy out of parenting and make it harder than it has to be. Mistake #3: Not evaluating yourself Most of us don’t like negative feedback. We don’t want to see the not so great part of ourselves, the messy …
Mistake #2: Believing You Should Be Different Than You Are They should have a kinder, more patient mom. They should have a stay at home mom vs. one that works or vice versa. They should have a mom who works part-time rather than full-time. They should have a mom who works less or doesn’t have …
Over the next few weeks I’m going to share some common mistakes most of us make as parents that suck the joy out of this precious time in our lives. Feel free to comment on any of these blogs with your own “mistakes” and ones you wish someone warned you about that made parenting harder …
Hot, red, fire. That’s how my face looked. That’s how my insides felt. I wanted to run, hide, escape as far away as I could. I think I actually giggled a little. But inside I was crying. I was dying. Embarrassed. Humiliated. Mortified. That’s what I felt when I heard these words from the teacher: …
Imagine if you came across this advertisement for a seven day beach vacation: 3 days only at the beach Torrential downpour Flat tire Kids argue and complain Awkward dinner Episode of severe vertigo Foul smelling water Would you be so quick to sign up for such a trip? Is this your idea of a relaxing …
Over the last month I’ve discussed the reasons why we overeat and become overweight. We overeat due to overdesire and overhunger as well as emotional discomfort and physical cravings. I’ve discussed several tools to address all of these issues and if you’ve missed any of them or want to review, feel free to go back …
Up until this point in the Brain and Body Reboot, I’ve discussed several tools that you can use to help address the problems of overhunger and overdesire. With overhunger, I’ve discussed understanding our hunger signals and our hormones as well as understanding how to use the foods we eat and the timing of eating them …
When you want to create a result in your life, you probably do what most people do which is look to the actions that you need to take in order to achieve that result. If you want to achieve a certain weight, for example, there are a number of actions that you might consider such …
When you are trying to do or achieve something that you have not done before, it’s natural to look backwards in your life for evidence that it can be done. The problem with this is that if you’ve never done it before, there is no evidence. Your search will come up empty and you will …
There is one main difference between those who get the results they want and those who don’t: their level of commitment. If you have an attitude where you will just try something or dabble in this or that to get a result, chances are that you won’t get there. If, on the other hand, you …
There are many obstacles in life that we can predict, but others that we simply can’t. We need to have ways to deal with both of these scenarios or we’ll end up using these circumstances as excuses to go back to our old habits and move away from our goals and true desires. When you …
Despite what the news and current events often highlight, we live in a world full of abundance and beauty. There is goodness all around us, if we choose to see it. We are meant to enjoy the abundance and beauty that surrounds us. We are meant to experience pleasure. Life is made up of real …
On day 21 of this reboot I discussed embracing discomfort and how discomfort is the currency of our dreams. I mentioned how when we practice the skill of allowing negative emotions, we should expect that discomfort will arise. Today I want to discuss the opposite – creating comfort. Creating comfort is something that we naturally …
Have you ever had one of those conversations with a friend or partner or someone where you are talking about some issue going on in your life and they are just sitting there, listening intently, maybe nodding here and there and asking you a few great questions? Suddenly in the middle of this you have …
On day 8 I discussed the concept of “the complete you” – your past, present, and future self. I wrote about how planning ahead with your past self is a gift that you give to your future self that will then become your present self. When we plan ahead, we are using our prefrontal cortex, …
Most of our life is spent resisting, reacting, or avoiding our negative emotions. This is exactly what we do when we overeat. We react to our urges and avoid the negative aspects of our lives by turning to food to comfort us and dampen these unpleasant feelings. On Day 20 I discussed the crucial skill …
Yesterday I discussed feelings and how they drive all of our actions and desires. Everything we do or don’t do in life is because of how we think we’ll feel by doing it. We go through our days with so many different emotions, but most of us don’t actually know how to feel them. We …
Feelings are one of those things that people either seem to be very in tune with or very distanced from. For those of you who are not in touch with your feelings or just don’t care, I promise you, this is really important stuff, so you’ll want to pay attention. Feelings are the reason we …
From an evolutionary standpoint, our human brain was designed to be motivated by three main things: Seek pleasure Avoid pain Be efficient This is what we call the “motivational triad”. This makes a lot of sense if you think about what we had to deal with in order to survive back in the days of …
Up until this point I have been addressing the symptom of the problem of being overweight which is overhunger and overeating. Now I want to turn to addressing the underlying cause, which is overdesire. Our desire for food comes from several places, including the release of dopamine in the brain. It also comes from our …
Those of us in medicine are very familiar with the “pain scale” concept. We routinely ask patients to rate their pain from 0 to 10, where 0 is no pain and 10 is the worst pain that you can imagine. When someone tells us their number, it gives us a very concrete idea of what …
Over the last few days I’ve discussed that there are two main issues to address when trying to lose weight. There’s the food you actually eat – that’s the what. Then there’s the timing of the food you eat – that’s the when. Today I’ll be focusing on the second part, or the when. In …
Here is a little review from some of the previous days. Being overweight arises from overhunger and overdesire, both of which cause us to overeat. I will focus on strategies to reduce overdesire in the last section of this month’s reboot. This last week I have been focusing on strategies to reduce overhunger. Overhunger is …
On day 8 I talked about taking care of the complete you by giving yourself the gift of planning your meals the day ahead. Hopefully you have been practicing doing this over the last several days. How is it going? Has it been hard for you or not too bad? I know when I first …
Yesterday I discussed some of the key players involved in weight, particularly the hormones insulin, leptin, and ghrelin. I gave a very basic outline on how changes in these hormone levels in our body can result in weight gain. The truth is, just like most diseases that impact humans, obesity is a complex and multifactorial …
It is helpful to be familiar with some of the most important hormones that are related to weight gain and weight loss. These are complex interactions, but understanding some of the basics can help you make the best choices for your body. Insulin is involved in regulating blood sugar levels and storing excess glucose for …
We are continuing to explore the concepts involved in solving overhunger and overeating. Yesterday I discussed the reasons why we overeat and how it’s not our fault. Our society and brains are designed in such a way that lead us to overeat by creating so much overdesire for food. If we can solve for the …
Over the last 8 days I have laid down the groundwork needed to lose weight and manage your mind around food in a way that strengthens the relationship you have with yourself and takes care of the complete you: your past, present, and future self. I also had you start putting these tools into practice …
Yesterday on Day 7 I asked you to consider the three parts of you: your past, present and future self. I discussed how this process of weight loss, as well as any other goal you want to achieve, is all based on developing the relationship with your future self. However, that does not mean that …
On Day 6 I asked you to visualize yourself at the end of the month having reached your goal. You created a clear mental picture of yourself a number of pounds lighter than where you are now. I then asked you to find your compelling why. What is your compelling reason for wanting this particular …
On Day 5 I showed you how to turn the obstacles that came up for you when thinking about your personal goal for the month into a roadmap that will lead to your success. Now we are going to go a bit deeper and really have you paint the picture in your mind of where …
Yesterday on day 4 I asked you to write down your specific goal weight for the month. For example: Lose 6 pounds by 5/31/22. I then asked you to spend a few minutes writing down all the thoughts that came up for you when you looked at that goal. All of these thoughts are the …
Over the last three days I introduced the concepts of your relationship with you, the story you have about yourself, which is reflected in the results of your life right now and the story of the life that you want to be living. These two stories may feel very far apart right now. But I’m …
Yesterday on Day 2, you wrote the title to the story of your life. Today is your chance to re-write your story. Now, you may need to spend a little more time looking at your thoughts from day 2. A lot of stuff may have come up for you. Most of us have lots of …
Everyone has a story they tell themselves about their life. It is a very well-developed story with a title and a beginning, a middle and an end. The ending or conclusion of your story is the life you are living right now. Your story is who you see yourself to be and the self-concept you …
This is the beginning of my “Get Ready For Summer Brain and Body Reboot” for the month of May. Each day I am going to discuss a topic that will help you start to reset your mind in a way that will allow you to move closer to your goals, which in this case may …
It was our first holiday in two years celebrating with extended family and friends. We had plans outside our house for the first night of Passover and we hosted the second night seder at our home. I spent days planning and preparing. But unfortunately I couldn’t plan for everything. I certainly couldn’t plan for a …
I’ve been thinking a lot about freedom lately. Later this week I’ll be celebrating the holiday of Passover which is all about freedom. What does it really mean to be free? Can you have a roof over your head, warm clothes on your body, not be worried about where your next meal will come from …
When most people think of physicians, they think of the class nerds or the smart kids who got all A’s and took honors classes and were on the debate and math teams, did science Olympiad or won the spelling bee. They think of us as brighter and more intelligent than most of society. But we …
One year ago on March 12, 2021 I wrote a blog post called “19 lessons I learned over the last year from Covid-19” and posted it on my personal Facebook page for all my “friends” to see. I had started my blog some time before that, but almost no one knew about it and I …
Most of us can list several things in our life that we want to change. Over time, these areas often come up for us again and again. Sadly, more often than not, nothing changes. In fact, we stay exactly the same. Why? It’s not that we don’t know what to do. Ask anyone who has …
I made a mistake with my child today. I’m sure I’ve made countless mistakes in my parenting journey, but this one stands out because it underscores a tool that I learned that has changed my life in such a powerful way. It also reminded me how much more I love my parenting today than in …
The President/CEO is often the founder and owner of a business. Sometimes they are not the actual founder, but are appointed as the head person in charge. What is their role? The President/CEO has three main roles: Create a vision or mission statement for an organization which essentially outlines the purpose and goals of the …
One of the most powerful concepts we can incorporate more into our lives is that of unconditional love, both for ourselves and for others. According to Wikipedia, unconditional love is “affection without any limitations, or love without conditions”. It almost sounds sacrificial, like you have to give up something in order to feel love. The …
The 2022 Winter Olympics are well underway in Beijing, China. As I watch these incredible athletes compete for medals, I have been thinking about what it takes for them to get there and be at the top of their game. There are numerous traits that I’ve read about that are common among champions, but three …
By this time at the end of January, most people have all but given up on their New Years resolutions. We started off so motivated and excited. Things are going to be different this year. We are going to be different, better. Maybe it’s a new routine such as working out. Or maybe it’s a …
I recently posted my very first Facebook story. I know, I know. I’m far behind the times. Tech isn’t really my thing, okay! It was a picture of my daughter at her first out of town basketball tournament standing at the free throw line making the shot. My husband captured the photo just as the …
Today in America we celebrated the holiday of Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Today in Israel another holiday was celebrated, Tu Bishvat, or the New Year for Trees. Tu Bishvat is celebrated on the 15th day of the Hebrew month of Shevat when sap begins to flow in the trees. It is curious that the …
My husband was pulling out of the garage one recent evening. At that exact moment, my daughter’s carpool ride pulled into our driveway perpendicular to my husbands car. It was dark outside, the dog was barking, and I opened the front door to let my daughter out just as I saw a horrific image: my …
Most of us have not evolved much past childhood in how we manage our emotions. Emotional childhood means not taking responsibility for how we feel. Just as a child depends on their parents to meet their needs, we often depend on the outside world to meet our emotional needs. Think about the last time you …
I always knew that I had some control over the results of my life. What I didn’t know was that I had full control. I used to believe that my actions and efforts or lack thereof played an important role. But I also believed that the circumstances of my life played an equally important role. …
Do you find yourself wanting to do something, but not being able to do it? Maybe you’re trying to eat healthier, exercise regularly, or clean out your closet? Do you find yourself wanting to stop doing something, but find that just as difficult? Maybe you want to stop overeating, stop reacting to your loved ones, …
We think our feelings are very important. And they are. But not for the reasons we think they are. Feelings are not important because of how intense they can be or how positive or negative we experience them. They are important because they are the reason we do or don’t do anything. Our feelings drive …
Yesterday I introduced “The Model” which is a simple, yet powerful tool that can help you get to the root cause of any problem in your life. As a reminder, the model consists of 5 parts: C, T, F, A, R or Circumstances, Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, and Results. Today I want to focus on the …
There are things you learn in life that once you know, you can’t unknow. Or things you see that you can’t unsee. That’s how it felt when I learned about “The Model”. The Model is a construct developed by Brooke Castillo, founder of The Life Coach School, where I trained and certified as a life …
Think about your life and what isn’t working. Are you overweight? Are you burned out at work? Are your relationships suffering? Why do you think this is? Pay close attention to the story you tell. We tell ourselves stories about our lives all the time. We tell them like they’re facts. Like we’re reporting the …
I am surrounded by people all day, but I often feel alone. I’ve had years of training and experience, but I don’t have all the answers. My mission is to help, but I can feel completely helpless. There is noise all around me: IV lines beeping, nurses chatter, TV’s playing, but my pager makes me jump. …
With Spring and warmer weather just around the corner and thousands more people vaccinated against Covid each day, there’s a sense of freedom in the air. Freedom to see friends and family. Freedom to go to restaurants. Freedom to make travel plans. It’s a cautious freedom, but progress nonetheless. In the Jewish calendar, a lunisolar …
It’s been exactly one year since everything in the world changed and shut down. On Friday March 13, 2020 my kids went to school for what would be the last time for the rest of the year. When I look back at this last year, there are so many lessons that I’ve learned. Here are …
So many of us want to change something about ourselves, but don’t do it. We know WHAT to do, but we just can’t seem to DO it. Here are four simple steps to creating real change in your life and a practical example of how to do it. The 4 steps are as follows: Awareness …